7 Day Cleanse- Day 1

The day started with my mother-in-law bringing donuts to the house. And, of course, I didn't have any. I stuck with my watermelon (which was terrible), cantaloupe, and strawberries. And the black coffee. It was as bad as I imagined it would be. But I drank it to keep from getting a headache from lack of coffee.

I had grapes and apples for lunch. The water part has been not fun. I have been having to chug water like beer at power hour at a frat house. Because I hate it that much.

Everything was going well until about 4:00. I just couldn't handle the water anymore. I started feeling really sick. Nauseated. Emotional. Headache. I started thinking I had the flu. That's how bad I felt. I ate some more cantaloupe and grapes.

By the time I got to rehearsal at 6:30, I was literally crying. I wasn't hungry. I'm not hungry now. I just cannot put another drop of that awful wet stuff called water in my mouth. I am going to try the cucumber/lemon/mint water that a friend told me about tomorrow. I have drunk about half a gallon today. That is a ton of water for me. Since I NEVER drink the stuff. EVER. I drink coffee (NOT black), coke zero, wine and vodka. That's about it. I am proud of the water I've drunk, but I did not and will not make the goal today. I'm still working on one bottle, but I only want to hurl it across the room, not drink it.

And now, it's 9:45. I am exhauted, emotional, sick feeling, and my head hurts. I honestly feel like I'm going to throw up. I didn't think that was the kind of "cleanse" it was talking about. If I am not actually sick, and if all these symptoms are from this diet of fruits and water today, then my body was worse off than I thought. If it is freaking out like this because it is missing its daily dose of mass chemicals, then let it. This is one time that my mind is controlling things, not my emotions.

Tomorrow I will wake up and have a day of more water and lots of vegetables. All day. Beginning with a potato for breakfast.

I hope this blog entry makes sense. My mind is mush, and my whole wimpy body hurts. I'm going to take a boiling bath and go to bed. I'm not quitting. I only worry that this week will get harder. And I already feel like death. Pressing on.... Pressing on.......

Countdown to 7 Day Cleanse

Just getting back from a short vacation where I did not take the best care of my body, I really wanted to try this 7-Day Cleanse I read about. Supposedly you feel great after the week, and you lose some weight (and I know I've gained some here recently.) The diet reads that you lose 10-17 pounds! To lose 10 pounds would be awesome! ;) I'm not sure how realistic that goal is, but I intend to find out. I plan to blog about my experience every day of the week. I need a sort of support system. I'm writing to myself, I suppose, but I think this will help me stick through it. I can do anything for a week.

Here are my concerns. I hate water. I hate it. It is foul. It is wet and tasteless and makes me gag. I said it. And I have to drink a ton this week. And no alcohol. None. Yeah. Wow. As I type this, I'm having my last coke zero/ vanilla vodka for a week. I even added a shot of amaretto to it tonight. Why not? And I am limited to black coffee in the mornings. No sweetener or cream or milk. I can do it though. Or I'm a complete... what's a nice word I can use??.... um.... wimp. Drink the water. Drink the black coffee. Don't drink the vodka. Easy.

And I love sweets. Milk duds and sugar daddies and other chewy goodness that ruin your teeth. No sweets this week. I love sweets. It's a problem sometimes. I eat too many. And none this week? Cold turkey? Should be interesting...

And I hate tomatoes. They are slimy and cold. Gross. It may as well be raw egg to me. There is one day I must eat 6 whole tomatoes. So guess what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna put my big girl panties on and eat 6 whole tomatoes. Because I'm not a..... wimp.

And beef? I don't really eat it much. It makes me feel yuck. I'll eat a filet every once in a while. And I eat hamburgers from time to time. But I could really live without it. There is one day I am supposed to eat 2 10 oz. portions of beef. I will throw up. I can tell you right now that is not happening. But I'm not worrying about that right now.

I weighed just now. 128. Yuck. I've gained about 4 pounds. Well GOODBYE in a week. I will weigh next Monday night and I BETTER be way lighter than that. Because I'm not eating cold sliminess and disgusting water and gross coffee and no delicious foods for a week for nothing. So stay tuned for my day-to-day culinary trials and tribulations. I'll let you know how horrible it is and will be brutally honest about it. The water will be the worst part.

Tomorrow it begins. Fruits. All day. Shouldn't be too bad.

What If Punk Never Happened?

A friend of mine informed me recently that there is a name for what I now know that I suffer from: Athazagoraphobia. It is the fear of being forgotten. It is a real fear of mine. Probably the only real fear I have. Well, I also have Catapedaphobia, but that's beside the point. I suspected for the longest time that I have a fear of rejection. But that is not true. No one likes rejection, but I don't fear being rejected. If I'm not cast in a show, it doesn't devastate me, as long as my audition was remembered. I realized that this fear of mine has been the driving force in my life for a very long time. Perhaps the reason I try to stay so busy, overfilling my plate many times. In some mad hope, perhaps, that it'll help me be remembered.

And it makes me wonder why. What is so terrible about being forgotten? And I think the answer is that it makes me feel insignificant. It makes me feel as if my life experiences and the things I thought were important and worth my energy and passion at the time are insignificant. I will never do anything that will be recorded in history books. I'm not going to discover the cure for some awful disease. I am not going to be some kind of counselor or motivational speaker who changes people's lives. I'm probably not going to be anyone famous. And that's ok. I think I am fine with who I am. And I'm not unsatisfied with my life. It's full, and I have much to be grateful for and am. It's just when the curtain closes, I am scared to death that no one will remember. Especially the ones who have been significant to me. Of course my family will remember, but I mean more than family. Friends. Teachers. Mentors. Just people in general.

Lately this fear has been overwhelming. I've jokingly called it a midlife crisis, but I think there was more truth than joke in that. I feel the  need to constantly grow. Constantly create. Constantly search for more. Constantly connect and make an impression. Leave a legacy. Feel needed or important. Make something unforgetable, whether it's art or brownies or memories.

I don't forget. I remember everything. I remember details. Conversations. I guess people only remember the important things in life. But that tells me that everything is important to me. Even the stupid stuff. So if the stupid stuff is important, then the significant stuff is mindblowing. Stakes are very high.

I don't know the answer. I don't know how to not have panic attacks because of this silly fear. A fear that I'm sure seems ridiculous to many people. But a fear that I promise is real. The weight I feel on my chest this very second as I type this and my racing heart are real. Just thinking about all this is causing that kind of reaction.

It's just impossible for me to stop trying to DO, to create, to learn, to feel, to search, to be more. If it's an attempt to be remembered, then that's what it is. But couldn't it also be an attempt by me to remember? To value and feel valued?

I listened to a song this morning. It was The King Blues' "What If Punk Never Happened?" Life would be different. That's silly to say, but it's true. If punk rock had never happened, things would not be like they are. Maybe. :) Regardless, it made me think of my fear. I just want to matter. I want the question "What If Jessica Never Happened?" to be a very sad thought to a lot of people. I want to move people in a postive way. I want to be myself... the person God created... and to be loved just like I am. I want answers to my "What If" question to be things like "then I wouldn't have laughed so hard that day," or "I wouldn't have tasted that champagne cupcake or crack brownie she invented," or "I wouldn't have been sung 'P.S. I Love You' every night" (that would be my son's thought), or "I wouldn't have been moved in such a way," or "I wouldn't have learned that."

My favorite part of the song I heard today goes like this:

"Just let your dreams be your pilot, your imagination your fuel, Tear up the book and write your own damn rules, Use all that heart, hope and soul that you've got, and the love and the rage that you feel in your gut, And realise that the other world that you're always looking for, Lies right here in front of us, just outside this door, and it's up to you to go out there and paint the canvas, After all, you were put on the earth to do this, So shine your light so bright that all can see, Take pride in being whoever the fuck you want to be."

The older I get, the more okay I get with who I am. But I don't quit searching. And I think that's okay. It's not a bad thing to keep painting your canvas. And the more "canvases you paint," the more likely you are to be remembered. There are those moments in life you try to remember (births of children, Christmases, etc.) and then there are those moments some try to forget. There's value in every moment. And I pray that I make positive unforgettable impressions in the lives of people, especially the people I love so dearly. Maybe that's narcissistic. But it's the truth.

I'm reminded of "Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera. I'll spare quoting more lyrics but that's how I feel. People forget. Some even WORK to forget. I suggest we work to remember. To shine bright and make impacts. To remember all the things that make us who we are. To paint canvases. To value people and memories. To be okay with the person you are. And to create new memories that are impossible to forget.



Trick Your Brain?



My mother has a Ph.D. in counseling. She is published, counsels people and teaches at a university. Who would think that she could tell me three little words that may or may not change my life? We're all screwed up, right? We all have issues. Many of us actually pay a licensed counselor to help us through tough times. Years and years of counseling some people think they need. But three words... Three words could possibly eliminate the need for counseling for all mankind?

TRICK. YOUR. BRAIN. That's what she told me the other day. And she didn't sit me down and look me in the eye and get all serious on me. I think she was actually getting up for her chair and sort of threw those words as me with a little nonchalant headshake. "Ehh.. Trick your brain." No big deal. Just trick your brain.

So now let's apply this. I have chronic migraines. I have no idea what causes them. But let's say I just trick my brain into thinking I don't have them. *Head is killing me* "Oh, no sir, my head doesn't hurt!" and just go about your business? Eventually, will your head just give up trying to kill you? Kind of ignore it and it will go away? Now, I don't think she was talking about physical ailments, but guess who is trying this new "trick your brain" technique regarding headaches right this minute? I'll let you know how that goes. I actually think that example blows.

Let's try this... Think about it... Any sort of happiness/sadness/worry/stress issue that you have could really benefit from this technique. Let's say you are sad you didn't get the job you wanted. What if you told your brain that you didn't want that job to begin with? You say it over and over every day until your poor confused brain catches on. I mean really... Who cares you are a friggin liar? If it helps you wake up every morning with a smile on your face, then lie away, right? Live your life in a deceitful way? Ok, now that I think about this example, I think it blows too. I mean, where does your heart come in to this equation? Isn't it your heart that wanted the job? I can buy into tricking your brain, but not your heart. MAYBE after a while, if your brain really starting believing that you didn't want the job, then PERHAPS your heart would go along for a while. Until you saw the person that got the job instead of you... or you read something that reminded you of the job... Or what if the job was... say... a lifeguard? Every time you saw water or the sun or a bathing suit you would mourn the loss of the job all over again. Your heart won't forget how much it wanted that job and will tell your brain.

Ok. I'm trying one more example before I just give up on this theory completely. And I think this one may work. What if someone dear to you was no longer here? Let's say they died or went away forever. You could trick your brain into thinking you just talked to them. Or just saw them. Have you ever had a dream about someone no longer living and you wake up and it really feels as if you just saw that person? I've always taken those dreams as a gift from God. I love them. Because you DO feel as if you just saw them. Not only did you see them, but often you talk to them and touch them. So if that works, then perhaps it works to trick your brain into thinking you see and talk to people all the time, even though you don't. You would never miss anyone ever again. This example I like. You are not lying to your brain. Or your heart. You are just remembering. You can close your eyes and remember what it felt like to hug your grandfather. And the way he smelled. And just PRETEND that you did actually hug him. This is the sort of brain tricking I can live with.

There is quite a difference between lying to your brain and saying, "I don't care that he died. I don't miss him" and just PRETENDING you just saw him. You do the former and then see a picture of your grandfather and what does your heart do? It breaks. And to hell with all the lying you've been doing to your brain. Because heart rules, people. You will break down in an emotional fit because you miss him. And then you decide to start the whole deceptive cycle all over again. But do the latter and what happens? You see a picture of him and your heart and brain collectively smile. Because it seems as if you just hugged him. And can still smell that smell of peppermint and tobacco, right? And you close your eyes and hug him again in your mind. So if this is what my mom meant by "trick your brain," I'm on board. I don't think it IS what she meant. But I still benefit from her words. Because I really really like this last example. And I will use it for sure in the future. I guess it is a form of lying to your brain. But it's a lie that won't backfire.

This kind of brain tricking is like getting one of those awesome God gifts in the form of a dream. But you are giving it to yourself.

Interpretation and Culture: How They Both Change

Here again is another blog in reference to the theology class I am taking at my church. Something the pastor said made me start thinking. One thing he said was how you have to read the Bible in the light of the culture at the time it was written to correctly interpret it. Last week, I asked him about people taking verses out of the Bible and claiming ridiculous things.  Like the verse “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.” Leviticus 19:28.  People will say that means you can't get a tattoo.  He told me that it had more to do with the pagan worship of the dead than the actual defacing of the body. I see this. You must understand the context of the culture to be able to understand the meaning for us today.

But here's something I find fascinating... I think Christians' interpretations of the Bible change with our own culture and our own personal biases. They shouldn't. And I'll be even more specific. Baptists' interpretation of the Bible changes with our own culture. I'll give you examples. What about the subject of interracial marriages?  Now the Bible is pretty clear to me that there is no problem at all with interracial marriages, but how many Baptist ministers in Mississippi 50 years would marry a black person to a white person in their churches? They might pick some scripture like in 2 Corinthians about being unequally yoked and refuse to marry them. Now? I would hate to think there is a minister out there who would claim that is the right interpretation. (I'm sure they're out there, but they're wrong.) And what about the dancing?  My mother tells me when she was in high school that dancing was seriously sinful. I don't even know where in Scripture someone could argue that, but it was so because of our culture, I suppose. Now, we have dance classes to go with the songs in Vacation Bible School! And we're not just talking arm motions here. We use our hips. *scandalous*

And even still a touchy subject - alcohol. It was honestly within the last ten years when my own current church had a churchwide Sunday School lesson on the sinfulness of alcohol. And, no, I didn't just sit there and let that go on. Somebody was going to SHOW me where it said in the Bible that drinking alcohol in reasonable amounts was sinful. And if it is sinful, then our Savior was sinful, and we all know for certain that is not the case. And don't give me that grape juice garbage. Grape juice doesn't calm your stomach when it's upset. Regardless... I could write a blog on this alone, but you get the drift. I feel pretty certain that even in the Baptist church (although this may be the only church left who tends to have this stance), in another decade, this won't be an absolute prohibition for all Christians to abstain from alcohol. It may be taught to guard against or be cautious with. But I can't see it being taught as outright sinful. It's a change in interpretation based on our culture. (And let me be clear so I'm not quoted incorrectly. There are people who should not drink alcohol. And I understand why leaders at the pulpit can't say, "Go for it and drink what you want!" That would be irresponsible, as would telling everyone they should go eat at the Berry's Seafood Buffet when there are people who should never go to an all-you-can-eat buffet.)

And shall I even get on my soap box about women? Again, it's fascinating to me that our own culture changes the way we look at Scripture.  Would we have women in leadership positions in a Baptist church 50 years ago? 25 years ago? What about the silent women bondage Scripture? ("Let your women keep silent in the churches: For it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also says the law. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husband at home: For it is a shame for a woman to speak in a church." 1 Corinthians 14:34-35). Now I don't know what was going on in Corinth for Paul to tell them this, but that's the point. SOMETHING was rotten in the state of Corinth.  I'm not a Biblical scholar to know what it was. I hope to find that out in the class. But I know what Jesus thought of women. I know that in a culture which did not recognize a woman's testimony in a court of law, God allowed women to be the FIRST witnesses of Jesus' resurrection (Luke 24: 1-12; Acts 2: 17-18). In Romans 16:1, Paul recommends a woman named Phoebe, "a deacon of the church of Cenchreae."  Although church offices had not yet been established, the term "deacon" denotes some sort of leadership position in the church.  In this passage (Romans 16: 1-12), Prisca, Mary, Junia, Tryphaena, and Tryphosa function as co-workers in the churches.  How can they be co-workers if they can't speak in the church?  How can Phoebe fulfill the role of deacon if she can't speak out in the assembly?

Galatians 3:28, Paul writes, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female;  for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." It is glaringly obvious that women, married or unmarried, can have leadership positions in the church. And they should be able to do so equally with men and not be relegated to terms such as "Director" instead of "Reverend." We have come a long way, but we still have some issues because of how we have done things based on tradition. In another 50 years, I believe gender equality will happen. In the meantime, all we can do is keep searching for truth and TRY not to let our current culture and personal biases change the way we interpret the Bible. The interpretation should not change. It should be constant. It IS constant. WE are the fickle humans who bend meanings to fit what we want to believe. Again, that's why I am loving this class. It's so cool to dig into Scripture and find out the context and meanings behind passages that have, to many of us, become rote. I am sure there are places in the Bible that I have misinterpreted. I look forward to finding out what those passages are and honestly and open-mindedly discovering what the truth is.

Theology

Hubs and I are taking a theology class at our church. I think I am going to love it. Already my mind is running crazy with questions, and I'm finding answers and differing opinions, and I'm fascinated.  As I was talking out my biggest question from yesterday's first class to hubs, he says, "Well, I don't know the answer, but I know this won't be your only hiccup." True. And I absolutely love that wheels-turning, trying-to-understand feeling. So I thought I'd share my first big area of confusion, and I hope my friends who also like to think and understand such things can help me understand.

Now I am certainly not as intellectual, educated or well-versed in scripture as my pastor, so I'm sure I will miss something or mix something up when I try to express my questions, but I will do my best. Here's my best stab at it:  I agree that at some point in every human, God reveals himself. Whether that be in just looking at the stars in the sky and how perfectly the universe is made and our bodies are made, or whether it be in innately knowing, as C.S. Lewis expresses, that there is right and wrong. Humans who have never heard of God have a conscience. I get that. I totally agree. But knowing the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not naturally revealed. Someone must be told that message. I understand that too. And I know that the Bible says in John 14:6, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

During the class, the pastor said something like this: Now what about the guy on some remote island who never hears the message of Jesus Christ and never has the chance to accept him? He may choose to understand through the natural revelation of God that there is a God, but he would have no way of ever knowing there is a Jesus and what He did on the cross for him and accepting Him. According to that John 14:6 scripture, he would go to hell. I have a prolem with that, and here's why.  If that is true, then babies and little children and unborn babies and mentally handicapped individuals would also go to hell.  When asked that question, words like "age of accountability" and "merciful enough" were spoken.  The pastor said that the term "age of accountability" was not ever used in the Bible, but that would be the point in an individual's life when he or she is mentally able and responsible enough to make a decision to follow Christ. But if God is merciful enough to not send babies and mentally retarded people to hell, then how is the guy on the remote island different? Why wouldn't God's mercy reach to him? If there is a little ignorant-of-the-Gospel family on this remote island including a mom, a dad and a baby, and a hurricane comes through and kills all of them, the baby would go to heaven, but the parents would go to hell? I know what the Bible says, but if I choose to believe that God doesn't send babies to hell (which I do choose, by the way), then it's hard for me to see the difference when it comes to groups of people who never have the chance to choose Jesus.

Now, last night, a very intelligent Bible scholar and uncle of hubby got into a discussion about this which led to his belief in limited atonement, which is that God sent Jesus to save a chosen few, not everyone. He did an amazing job explaining his stance on it, backed by scripture. (Is 53:12, "yet He Himself bore the sin of many.") But I also found scripture last night that backed my stance that Jesus did die for the entire world, not just a select few. (1 John 2:2, "and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world.") We had a fascinating discussion, and I respect very much his view on it, but I am going to choose to stick with my view on that.  Although, if I did believe in limited atonement, my questions would immediately be answered.  But also in that case, I wouldn't believe in sending missionaries to spread the Gospel, and I know that Bible calls us to be "fishers of men." (John 21:17)  John 3:16 is sort of the basis of Christianity. It's the verse we're all drilled with as children, and it does read "whosoever believes in him," not just a few. 

I wondered if anyone out there would like to add to my understanding of this aspect of the Bible, without arguing for limited atonement. Like I said, I can wrap my brain around it, and it DOES answer my heaven/hell questions, and I respect anyone's choice to believe it, but that's not what I believe, so, given my choice in believing that Christ died for the whole world and that everyone has the option to choose Christ, how do you explain what happens to children and not have it carry through to people who have never heard Christ? I do believe what the Bible says. But it almost seems as if that would mean that even a child would go to hell, and I know my God would not do that. Thoughts?

Things You Need to Know That You Don't Learn In Kindergarten

I'm sure we've all either read or heard of the Robert Fulgham's book All I Really Need to Know I Learned In Kindergarten.  I get it, and I agree on the point.  But let's face it.  There are some things in this world that you have to know that no one teaches you in kindergarten, or any other time, for that matter.  These are lessons that you learn "the hard way."  Today I thought to myself You know, if someone at some earlier point in my life had told me this stuff, I would have had lots of happier times, instead of those "hard way" times when I learned by trial and error.  I decided to try to come up with a small list of some of these things that I will be sure to convey to my own children at some point in their lives....



1.  Recognize SPAM y'all.  I mean, come on.  For instance, you know your second grade teacher is not sending you a link to see a video of a teenage girl being "walked in on" by her dad.  Please.  SPAM.  Don't click on it because when you do, you recreate all kinds of trouble for me and others.  Take a minute to google "How to recognize spam" and THEN get a facebook account or a computer.  It will make the world a better place.

2.  Here is the rule on white shoes:  You may NEVER EVER wear white shoes unless you are a baby, a little girl, a bride (and I'm not even sure about that one), running/exercising, or wearing flip-flops.  There is no "Labor Day" rule when it comes to shoes.  They are awful on everyone's feet.  Don't see yourself in a photo and think Why didn't someone tell me?!  I just did.

3.  Judge for yourselves.  You may learn black and white facts in kindergarten, but there are lots of things in this world that someone may tell you is fact, and it may not be.  If someone says something is good, and your gut is telling you it's bad, listen to your gut.  A quick story.. and I'll be very vague so no one gets their feelings hurt:  I was once at a Christian ladies' event and they had a guest speaker that was well known and had lots of friends there and lots of credentials.  She was a nut job.  As this crazy woman is speaking, I look around the room at all the ladies there.  Everyone is smiling and taking notes and even later I hear them tell her what a wonderful job she did.  I think Am I in bizarro world?  This woman is not only a terrible speaker and has NO business doing this kind of thing, but she really is crazy.  And I'm a little crazy myself (I firmly believe 10% crazy keeps you interesting), as my husband would attest, so I know crazy.  Come to find out there was more than just me who picked up on this.  And looking back, the right thing to do would have been to walk out.  But I doubted what my gut was saying.  We need to trust the gut.  It's right most of the time.  Even if it's opposite of the crowd's opinion.  It's the right choice.

4.  RSVP y'all.  People should have a little class and do what they are supposed to do.  This should be taught in school, but it's left up to parents, and the parents don't even do it.  Now I'll be the first to say, there have been some times when an invitation got misplaced or even lost, and I have failed to RSVP.  VERY few times, but I don't have a perfect RSVP record, unfortunately.  But the older I get, and the more parties/functions I host, the more I value and respect the RSVP.  When you don't RSVP, in my mind, it is incredibly inconsiderate and classless.... like an empty beer box on the top of your Christmas tree instead of a star or angel. 





5.  Here's something you don't learn in kindergarten:  DRINK WATER BEFORE YOU GO TO BED and you won't have a hangover.  Who knew it was so simple?!  Why didn't I learn this from someone somewhere???  Now, I'm not talking about getting blitzed out of your mind... I'm talking about a normal few drinks when people are over or out at a restaurant.... Drink a bottle of water before you get in the bed, and all will be right in the world the next day. 



6.  You get what you pay for.  It's cliche, yet STILL, everyone is trying to get a great deal.  Cheap eats, cheap haircut (bless this little guy's heart), free stuff, etc.  We recently bought a new TV for our new house.  It came with a FREE blu-ray player.  Wow.  Cool.  Less than a year later, it doesn't work.  You get what you pay for.  Old Navy's clothes are cute and cheap, right?  They last a season.  Mark it.  They have 3 months of wear in them.  Perfect for kids who are constantly growing.  Awful for moms who hopefully have stopped growing.  Wanta stay at the $59 a night hotel instead of the $169 a night one?  Um.  NO.  Because why?  You get what you pay for.  If you can't afford the $169 a night, then don't go and save up until you can.  You get what you pay for.  I don't want to know how much much I've thrown away on crap.  Total waste.  Found bottles of champagne on sale for $4 a bottle?!?  WOW!  Yeah.  DON'T drink that stuff.  You'll have a hangover not even gallons of water before bed will be able to touch.  Someone should have told me this at an earlier part of my life because I learned "the hard way."  You get what you pay for.

7.  And here's the last one for the night.  One I learned just TODAY.  "The hard way."  When your child is sick or even complains of any discomfort whatsoever, REMOVE the expensive or expensive-to-clean bedding from the bed.  If you don't, you will spend $55 at the dry cleaners to remove the vomit from a $50 comforter.  I guess you COULD try to clean the dry-clean-only comforter yourself, but remember... you get what you pay for.