Somebody needs to say this. And I nominate myself. I've felt pretty blunt this week. So let's go...
One of my many pet peeves is the misuse of quotation marks. And I mean the quotation marks people misuse when they think it gives a word emphasis, when in fact, it makes them look ridiculous. Instead of emphasis, it gives the word a sense of sarcasm, as if you actually mean the opposite. So, people of the world, please hear me. DON'T use quotation marks for emphasis. Use ALL CAPS as if you're yelling it, make it bold, italicize it, or underline it, but no quotation marks please. Just in case people still don't understand, I thought I'd find some examples of misuse and translate what the author is really saying, as well as what he or she meant.
This Sharpie-equipped individual is a lazy writer. Run-on sentences. Random capitalization. No punctation at all, except for the quotation marks that he misuses. Now, what this guy (yeah, I assume it's a guy) is doing is just getting information out there. He wants the door closed because the pipes will freeze. And I think he probably means all-the-way closed, hence the emphasis. But what does this actually say? Other than he learned nothing in middle school English class? It actually communicates that the door probably doesn't close, and you should just do your best to close it. Just sort of push it shut. That's what this communicates.
This is great. This pharmacy, although I'm sure they mean something completely opposite, appears to be a little lax on the rules because you just have to have a "valid" picture ID. Something homemade is fine. In fact, just take a selfie with your iphone and show us that, and that'll do. Instagram is fine.
(Someone find out where this pharmacy is.... Could be good info to have at some point... :)
*wink wink* So y'all feel free to come and go as you please.
Wow. I do believe this firearm store is providing some political commentary on gun control, don't you? You know... Since it's all about your "freedom." There is the phone number to this store. Calling them is tempting.
I don't know about you, but this sign has the word chemicals written all over it. I don't know what "real" ice cream is, but I'd be willing to bet milk allergy sufferers and lactose intolerant folks are fine to eat it.
This store's sign maker.... *sigh*.... There are so many problems here that I'm not even sure what he or she is trying to communicate. All I know is what it does communicate: I don't read much. And I'm thankful for spell check. (Notice no spelling errors. Amazing.)
I love this one. It makes me laugh. So this place sells things that you might want and calls them "alcohol." And you don't really have to have an ID. Just show something that'll pass for one. But here's the rub. They "mean" it. So now it seems as if it's all a joke. And they're messing with the heads of smart druggies. It's almost like a dare to try to buy something illegal, so they can bust you. HA!! This may be my favorite.
Yikes. Now obviously this employer is trying to communicate that it is absolutely necessary for the employees to wash hands. I get that. But what does it really say? Meh. Just sort of, you know, rinse 'em off. Just "wash" 'em.
I really do hope that these examples have caused a metaphorical light bulb to come on for someone. The next time you are so excited to tell someone that you are going on "vacation," or that your child got an "award," or that you have the "best" spouse in the world, think again. There are people out there who will read that and giggle and shake their heads at the irony. And by "people," I mean me.
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