At Least Joey Knows He's Wrong

Somebody needs to say this. And I nominate myself. I've felt pretty blunt this week. So let's go...

One of my many pet peeves is the misuse of quotation marks. And I mean the quotation marks people misuse when they think it gives a word emphasis, when in fact, it makes them look ridiculous. Instead of emphasis, it gives the word a sense of sarcasm, as if you actually mean the opposite. So, people of the world, please hear me. DON'T use quotation marks for emphasis. Use ALL CAPS as if you're yelling it, make it bold, italicize it, or underline it, but no quotation marks please. Just in case people still don't understand, I thought I'd find some examples of misuse and translate what the author is really saying, as well as what he or she meant.

This Sharpie-equipped individual is a lazy writer. Run-on sentences. Random capitalization. No punctation at all, except for the quotation marks that he misuses. Now, what this guy (yeah, I assume it's a guy) is doing is just getting information out there. He wants the door closed because the pipes will freeze. And I think he probably means all-the-way closed, hence the emphasis. But what does this actually say? Other than he learned nothing in middle school English class? It actually communicates that the door probably doesn't close, and you should just do your best to close it. Just sort of push it shut. That's what this communicates.

This is great. This pharmacy, although I'm sure they mean something completely opposite, appears to be a little lax on the rules because you just have to have a "valid" picture ID. Something homemade is fine. In fact, just take a selfie with your iphone and show us that, and that'll do. Instagram is fine.
(Someone find out where this pharmacy is.... Could be good info to have at some point... :)

*wink wink* So y'all feel free to come and go as you please.

Wow. I do believe this firearm store is providing some political commentary on gun control, don't you? You know... Since it's all about your "freedom." There is the phone number to this store. Calling them is tempting.

I don't know about you, but this sign has the word chemicals written all over it. I don't know what "real" ice cream is, but I'd be willing to bet milk allergy sufferers and lactose intolerant folks are fine to eat it.

This store's sign maker.... *sigh*.... There are so many problems here that I'm not even sure what he or she is trying to communicate. All I know is what it does communicate: I don't read much. And I'm thankful for spell check. (Notice no spelling errors. Amazing.)

I love this one. It makes me laugh. So this place sells things that you might want and calls them "alcohol." And you don't really have to have an ID. Just show something that'll pass for one. But here's the rub. They "mean" it. So now it seems as if it's all a joke. And they're messing with the heads of smart druggies. It's almost like a dare to try to buy something illegal, so they can bust you. HA!!  This may be my favorite.

Yikes. Now obviously this employer is trying to communicate that it is absolutely necessary for the employees to wash hands. I get that. But what does it really say? Meh. Just sort of, you know, rinse 'em off. Just "wash" 'em.

I really do hope that these examples have caused a metaphorical light bulb to come on for someone. The next time you are so excited to tell someone that you are going on "vacation," or that your child got an "award," or that you have the "best" spouse in the world, think again. There are people out there who will read that and giggle and shake their heads at the irony. And by "people," I mean me.







Tiger lily

A couple of days ago, I accidentally stumbled upon a novel that I'd never heard of. Tiger lily by Jodi Lynn Anderson. Now, as ironic as this might be since I have degrees in English, I don't read a whole lot. It's time consuming. I don't know whether I became this way in college when it was absolutely necessary for me to finish a novel in a day or so, but I must finish a novel when I start it. I must start reading and finish it within a day or two. I HATE barely reading on a book for months before I finish. So, yes. It's time consuming. I commit to the book until it's done. Understandably, there is nothing more frustrating to me than spending every waking minute of a day or two to finish a book only to be disappointed and feel as if I've just lost days of my life for no reason. It's better just not to risk the lost time. If someone recommends a book to me, I'll read it. But I read a book from one of my favorite authors, Elizabeth Berg, once for no reason other than she wrote it, and I have NEVER done that again. Ha. All that to say... For me to just see this book and buy it and read it is unusual. And I am so glad I did.

Tiger lily is a behind-the-scenes story of Peter Pan, told from Tinkerbell's perspective. It is to Peter Pan what Wicked is to The Wizard of Oz. It's not a brand new book. It's been out for many months now, but I'd never heard of it. But it touched me more than any book I've ever read. Even more than The Shack, and for those of you who know me well, you know how much that was. I loved it. I was moved.

I just now read a review that was published, and it is more beautifully written than I could write. It sums up my thoughts exactly, so I will include it here:

"I had a lot of expectations when I picked up this book because the story of Peter Pan is one tale that I keep close to my heart. But this novel blew every single one of them out of the water in the best possible way. Bittersweet and wild, Tiger Lily has everything in a story that will make it stick to your heart like drying mud.

Being a huge fan of the Peter Pan fairytale, I wasn't sure how a Tiger Lily and Peter Pan love story was going to work. I mean, it's always been Peter and Wendy. They're perfect for each other. Now, I've always liked Tiger Lily but not as a love interest for Peter. What Anderson did was completely recreate Tiger Lily into this complex girl that you can't help but love. Tiger Lily's cold exterior is formed from years of teasing and a quiet but unyielding persistence to get through it. As her legend in the little Indian community grows, so does her solitude and her restless feet. At first, I wasn't sure it was possible to like such a cold and calculating character. Tiger Lily cared deeply for certain people though she would never admit to anyone--including herself. But as she ventures out more and lets her curious feet explore, you start to see cracks in that veneer. And because she is so calm and strong, it feels special. You feel special for starting to see how deeply she cares, how trapped she is in her body and routines and before you know it, you care so much for the girl with the raven feathers in her hair that you ache when she aches.

But Anderson doesn't stop with just recreating Tiger Lily. She breathes new life into every well known character. You know Captain Hook? The guy who is scared of crocs and seems completely okay with his hook of a hand? Yeah, not in this version. He's an extremely intelligent man when he's sober and a roaring angry and paranoid guy when he's drunk. The Lost Boys as a group of cuddling little kids who are just looking for a mom? Well yeah, sort of. But they are also known to be the most vicious and terrifying people on the island of Neverland. Whether this is just a rumor will be up to you to discover. And then there is the man himself, Peter Pan. As Tiger Lily grew close to him, I held my breath because I felt like I was standing next to a legend. How Anderson was able to create and animate such a complex character who is simultaneously so full of life and completely empty at the same time will never cease to amaze me. The care with which the author took to make all of these well known characters seem just enough like their legendary counterparts while making them something completely new is one of the best parts about this novel.

Going beyond the recreation of beloved characters, the author is also able to explain away all the problems that go along with putting a fictional land where people don't grow old in the real world. People just don't grow old on Neverland and the Englanders that come to the island just have an "aging disease". I liked thinking of this story in two ways--part old world exploration story and part magic fairytale. It sounds odd but the two blend almost effortlessly.

I think the blending of these two works so well because of the prose. The story is told with the storybook-esque narrative. We are told things are going to happen before they do but by the time the events fold out, it still comes as a surprise. The simple narrative combined with beautiful prose and a sort of jovial "I-told-you-so" that one finds in fairytales makes Tiger Lily unique onto its own and so very special. I was all ready to dive into Tiger Lily's consciousness so it was a complete surprise when Tink ended up taking the story over. I liked that we got to see her feelings and thoughts about what was going on and she was the perfect narrator since she couldn't speak to the other characters and interfere with how the story was going to play out. We saw how all sides were crashing into the conclusion and how it all would end but we could do nothing (besides the odd bite and ear pull) to stop it.

Tiger Lily is as bittersweet for me as the tale of Peter and Wendy. Their love is doomed from the beginning yet you still see them running in head first though you know what's coming. Watching Tiger Lily grow, come to terms with what love means (not just with Peter but with the other members of her tribe too) and having her heart broken will tear you up in the best way possible. This story grips onto those things you loved as a child, those ideas that you still hold sacred today and shreds them so it can makes something all new. I have a hard time finding words for how much this book affected me. All I can say is it's getting a special place in my bookshelf just like it carved a special place in my heart."

For any of those tweens, teens, or adults who love Disney, or who need to be reminded that people we love leave footprints on our hearts, or who need to be encouraged to tell people what they mean to us, this beautiful, lyrical, honest, moving story will be treasured. I will pass it on to my daughter now. And I hope she will treasure it too.