Now most of the comments were positive. It's great that these kids could have fun with the other kids that they met. But one unnamed religious individual commented with one sentence. I'll never forget it. "Why do we Christians have to look like the world?" What?!? That was everyone's response. And rightfully so. I'm not going to delve into that particular instance any deeper because it is obviously so ridiculous to ridicule or to try to shame kids like these kids into thinking they were doing something that God would not approve of. And I felt sorry for this in particular "holy" individual. What must that feel like to live in such bondage? Spewing that kind of prideful statement about the innocent actions of good kids only puts this "holy" individual on a high horse. He is saying that this is wrong. And that he would never do something like this. The world? So, he can't go to the movies. (He actually probably doesn't.) He can't go to ballgames. The world does that. He can't listen to much music. He can't watch "Breaking Bad," because Lord knows the entire world does that. What I'm saying is that by saying something so asinine, he is calling himself perfect and these kids wrong.
Matthew 7:5 - "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Yeah. That pride and Pharisee-like garbage is a log. Wake up. Nobody wants to join a club whose members are like that. I don't. I don't want some other flawed human constantly pointing what he or she thinks is not up to Pope-like standards. Can we not LOVE each other? Can we not be NORMAL? Can we not ENCOURAGE others in Christ? People like this actually think they are being warriors for Christ. All they are doing is causing people to run in the opposite direction. Another example... A friend of mine posted a photo on facebook.
Now this picture didn't really sit exactly right with me. Of course you shouldn't cuss people out on facebook. If I am trying to be the best person I can possibly be, I'm not going to do that. And I don't. There is nothing that can happen on facebook to make me totally lose my cool and fly off in some passionate rage. This note you're reading is about as passionate as I'm getting on facebook. But to say that you cannot possibly be a Christian if that happens is being judgmental and reading someone's heart. If someone does that, they screw up. Yes. But if they are quoting scripture, then they probably know that they aren't doing right anyway. Don't you think? Anyway, as an attempt at being funny. I posted a joke comment on the photo. This is what followed:
Me: "Well, sometimes I get pretty pissed off and lose my cool completely because I'm a flawed passionate stupid emotional human, but I still love Jesus, and I know He loves me too. :) :)"
Obviously my joke fell flat because some woman thought I was serious and responded:
Woman: "Jessica, maybe try waiting until you cool off before typing something on fb. Yes Jesus does love you, but it sure hurts him to hear you talk like that. Also gives the non-saved reason to call us hypocrites. :("
Ok, first of all, I wanted to say, "And you are....?" Now, everyone who knows me knows I am a Christian. I love Jesus. But they also know I'm not too much into being "religious." I pretty much run from it. And maybe I'm wrong, and maybe my view of Jesus is not "holy" enough, but I really really see him as my friend. A friend I couldn't do this life without. And maybe I'm just crazy but if I told a friend of mine who needed advice, "Listen, I love you and Christ loves you, but Satan doesn't and he's full of shit," I really don't believe Jesus would be hurt in any way. In fact, I envision a head shaking from Him, in total agreement. But here's what I actually said to this woman:
"I'm kidding. I don't cuss ppl out on fb. And there would be no way anyone could call me a hypocrite even if I did. I readily admit I am as screwed up as anyone. I'm a Christian bc of Jesus and His grace. Thank God for it. Makes me want to try harder every day. But when I do fail, I'm still His. I'm leaving it there."
And then a dear friend of mine sent me a message telling me that she saw that exchange, and that's the very reason she doesn't go to church anymore. Made me sad. Why do we want everyone to think we are perfect as Christians? We don't SAY this. We don't DO this. We DO this. We SAY this. Why do we want to strive for some unattainable Jesus status? We are not Jesus. That whole WWJD campaign is FLAWED. It's not about what would Jesus do. It's about what he DID do. Good grief. He took our sins for us. HE was the perfect one. HE gave his life for the imperfect. I'm not going to pretend to be perfect. You can't connect to people on any level if you go around trying to make people believe you are. It's only when people see what being a Christian can do for your life- your messed up, problem-filled, chaos of a life, that they think, "Well, yeah. I need that freedom. I need someone to love me when I know I'm unlovable." If we'd stop all the asininity, and love people and step out of our little religious bubbles, people would see the Christ of the Bible.
I have been blessed to have read two great books lately. One is by Brene Brown called "The Gifts of Imperfection." Opened my eyes to so many things. Being imperfect is human. We all have imperfections. Finding a safe place to be vulnerable about them brings people together. It makes connections. Because we can't connect to perfect people. They don't exist.
The other book I am actually currently reading is "Carry On Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed" by Glennon Doyle Melton. Same principle. I'll quote a passage:
"One day I was at the playground with a new friend from church named Tess. I suspected that Tess was having trouble in her marriage. We hadn't talked about this, though, because we were too busy talking about more important things, like soccer practice and highlights. I felt frustrated that our conversation never went deeper. We seemed incapable of discussing the very things that were most important to discuss. Lost in frustration, I started thinking about all the time and effort I'd spent building protective layers between my broken heart and the broken world. I considered the ways I'd distanced myself from other people - people who might hurt me more than I was already hurting. People who might be disgusted if they saw the real me. My fear of really being seen had driven me to hide inside the bunker of addiction for decades. When I finally crawled out, I pulled on my secrets and shame like armor and carried my invulnerability like a weapon. Life, to me, had always seemed like a battle to survive.
But there at the playground, I realized that surviving wasn't enough anymore. Sitting there with Tess, I realized I wasn't really sitting there with Tess at all. There were so many layers of my armor and her armor between us that we couldn't touch each other. And even if we'd wanted to, we couldn't because we were shooting at each other with stories about our "perfect" lives. Suddenly this all seemed completely ridiculous. Sure, I was sober and out of hiding, but by denying my past to others, protecting myself with the shield of secrets and shame, I had isolated myself. I was lonely, and a bit bored. Life without touching other people is boring as hell. It hit me that maybe the battles of life are best fought without armor and without weapons. That maybe life gets real, good, and interesting when we remove all of the layers of protection we've built around our hearts and walk out onto the battlefield of life naked. I wondered, If I put down my guns, will Tess do the same? I decided it was a worthy experiment. I shed my armor and I waved my white flag. All of a sudden I heard myself saying the following to Tess:
Listen. I want you to know that I'm a recovering alcohol, drug, and food addict. I've been arrested because of those things. Craig and I got accidentally pregnant and married a year after we started dating. We love each other madly, but I'm secretly terrified that our issues with sex and anger will eventually screw things up. Sometimes I feel sad and worried when good things happen to other people. I snap at customer service people and my kids and husband regularly. I always have rage right beneath the surface. And right now I'm dealing with postpartum depression. I spend most of my day wishing my kids would just leave me alone. Chase brought me a note the other morning that said, "I hope Mommy is nice today." It's depressing and scary, because I keep wondering what will happen if that feeling never goes away. Maybe I can't handle this mommy thing. Anyway, I wanted to let you know.
Tess stared at me for so long that I wondered if she was going to call our minister or 911. Then I saw some tears dribble down her cheek. We sat there, and she told me everything. Things with her husband were bad, apparently. Really bad. Tess felt scared and alone. But at the playground that day, Tess decided she wanted help and love more than she wanted me to think she was perfect."
I needed to read that as much as anybody. Religious people so often have the reputation of being unloving. Sometimes that whole "Love the sinner/Hate the sin" thing doesn't really work. It translates as hating the sinner. And thinking that you are perfect... Which makes the sinner hate you and not want to be a part of anything that you are a part of because you are acting as if you're not one of the group. I love Jesus. And because I love Jesus, it makes me want to love people more than I do (I'm working on that daily), and help people, and be a better person, and do the next right thing. Not ridicule.
My prayer is for Christians, including myself, to desire to connect to people. To love people. To love Christ in such a way you wouldn't want to disappoint Him. To be open to people. Now obviously, I don't mean to air your dirty laundry all over town like a crazy person. But to connect to people in an honest way. Not to come across as some perfect "religious" example of what we should be. Just a normal flawed person who has problems like everybody else, who can only get through this life with her Savior and friend. And when we do screw up, the sun continues to rise and shine on us with each new day, just like God's love. And we start again, learning from the day before.
And having friends down here on this earth who love us for the screwed up people we are ain't bad either.
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